journey to the end

Album - Four Year Strong - Rise or Die Trying

Even though I have yet to be much more productive whatsoever, I find myself slowly trudging through this muck of a month much more easily than I thought.

Having said that, man do I love pop punk. Though it may make most of you cringe in disgust and disapproval that my album of the day is Four Year Strong, eat a pile of hot shit. I like it, it makes me want to party, and that's essentially all that matters. Like I have previously noted, it is crazy how a song, or a record can alter your mood or outlook on things in a matter of minutes, nay seconds.

I had a long booze induced conversation with my best friend last night about death. It's hard to avoid the thought and or conversation surrounding the afterlife, if there even is one, when the one year anniversary of a close friend's death is approaching. I will only touch briefly on the subject, but what is death? What is life? What are money and possessions when the only certainty in life is death. Every day to day activity just seems to be a distraction to keep your mind occupied before the inevitable eternal slumber. I for one don't really believe in heaven or hell. When you die, you're dead. So really what's there to be worried about? When you die, that's it. Right? I would imagine it's like shutting a light off. A regression back to the woumb. The only difference is, theres no 9 months, theres nothing. You're just gone, the same way you didn't exist before your parents fucked. Who knows. I am just rambling.

I miss you, Jimmy. If there is a heaven, I hope you're there. I hope everything you ever loved to do is ready and accessable to you whenever you want it. I hope that if there is an afterlife, yours is a constant smile. Also, I hope you can take naps whenever you want. I just imagine that being a huge plus. Whatever the case, there are a lot of people here that will never stop thinking about you, and never stop loving you. Your memory will always be right there. Death is a part of life, I really just wish we had a little more time. You will always be in my heart, and now, on my leg. I love you, Jimmy. Sidenote: My dad said it was gay that I got a guy's name tattooed on my leg. My reply, "Dad, it's for Jimmy. He's dead, not my boyfriend." His answer, "Still weird. You're a faggot." I just thought it was fitting to mention that, because I know that would've made you laugh so hard.

More Later,

xoxo
Danny